So as this year comes to a close I can't help but think what a different place I'm in from this time last year. I head into this new year feeling happy and optimistic about what the future might hold. Yes, of course it will continue to be an uphill climb but I feel I'm up for the challenge! I haven't felt this energized and happy in a long time!
What a change from last year! This time last year I felt aimless and like I wasn't achieving all I could and I was sort of just drifting along. I was depressed. I was in an unhappy relationship which in turn was making me unhappy and stressed. I wasn't being true to myself and going after the things I wanted. I felt like I was sort of spiraling downwards and I didn't really know how to stop it.
I think one of the most positive changes that came from last year was getting out of the unhappy relationship I was in. This is not to say this person was/is a bad person we were just bad together...in fact I wish them nothing but the best and I really hope they find happiness in the future.
During the relationship I sort of felt paralyzed like I was falling deeper and deeper into a black hole and I didn't know how to get out. I was scared shitless when it first ended b/c I had to find a new place and I was pretty broke at the time and literally had almost no belongings (b/c I gave them away before I moved to Shanghai) but you know what I'm a survivor and like many other times in my life I picked up the pieces and moved on and I know I'm DEFINITELY stronger for it and it was DEFINITELY the best thing for me...in fact I wish I would of had the balls to do it sooner!
After I moved out I started to feel like myself again. I would find myself smiling as I walked down the street w/ a renewed sense of self...something I hadn't felt for awhile. And you know what...w/out getting too bullshit, sappy, mystical, the secret on you - it's true what they say - you throw positive energy out into the universe and it will come back to you!
Moving out also gave me a sense of urgency about my career. I knew I had been wasting way too much time and not focusing on the things I should have been focusing on b/c I was just too unhappy and hopeless feeling. I started to tackle the things on my New Years Resolution list from last year. And you know what I looked back on it and I actually did a pretty good job! I did do more editorial shoots, I built my bridal website, did my bridal photoshoots and REALLY worked on my hair skills!
I think the biggest accomplishment for me this year has been seeing just how quickly my bridal business has grown. I really wasn't expecting it to be so successful...esp. since I didn't get my wedding website up until May! I've also worked w/ a lot of other great artists on weddings and really built a great network of artists to call on if I need help or they can ask me if they need help on a job. It's important to remember that every artist has their own style and we shouldn't treat each other as enemies or the competition but instead learn from each other and lean on each other b/c there is way too much bullshit, stress and fake ppl in this biz to be making unnecessary enemies.
Another HUGE accomplishment of mine this year has been supporting myself through makeup artistry w/out having a side job. Of course some mths are tight...very tight but it's nice to know that I'm on the right track and I really feel that I will only go up from here!
I've also gotten the opportunity to go on a couple of really awesome trips this year! It's not career related but traveling is an important personal goal I have so I'm really proud and excited that I got the opportunity to go to Hawaii, London, England and Paris!
Late in the year I feel I've finally also started to get somewhere w/ another BIG personal goal for myself - my weight! Anyone who has followed this blog from the beginning knows my weight is a HUGE struggle for me. If you read my blog while I was in Shanghai you know I lost a SHIT LOAD of weight and I felt SO GOOD and PROUD of myself. Unfortunately, when I came back to Toronto I put a lot of it back on. Sort of a cycle thing - I ate b/c I was unhappy and I was unhappy b/c I ate and was putting on weight. I've been going up and down a bit this year but after I came back from Europe I decided to get serious about it again! I've been really good at working out this entire year which is great but I really needed to look at my food choices. After seeing how puffy I looked in my Europe pictures I knew something had to change. I've lost about 12 pds since then (although a couple have come back on b/c of the holidays...hey I'm only human lol) and I plan to keep on going and hopefully lose another 10-15 lbs. My goal is to fit back into my Shanghai skinny jeans!
So after reflecting on last year let's look to the future and goals I have for myself in this upcoming year!
1. Keep working out, eating healthy and losing weight - Fit into those God Damn Shanghai Skinny Jeans!
2. Grow my bridal business even more - ideally I would like to DOUBLE last year! Also redesign my bridal website...not happy w/ the first one I did.
3. Make more money...and not just from bridal work but also do a lot more paid commercial or on set work
4. Get an agent - I had one, we didn't click but I think I'm ready to get one again and I think it's the only way I'll be able to get to the next level for paid commercial work
5. Continue to network w/ great artists, photographers and stylists in the industry and really make an effort to work w/ more ppl and new ppl on different projects
6. Continue to work on my Hair Skills and get EVEN better...also work on my airbrushing...started last yr but there is always room for improvement
7. Start aggressively paying off some of the debt I've accumulated from school, Shanghai and building my business...also start investing and saving for my future.
8. Repeat from last year but I think I can do EVEN more this year - Update My Blog More!
Well that's all I can think of off the top my head at the moment but I think it's a pretty good list to start with! Hope everyone has a wonderful New Year and you're feeling as Motivated, Driven and Excited about the Future as I am!